I’m the kind of person who is constantly getting their sleeves caught on door handles, and I’ve never managed to work out how to elegantly put on or remove a coat.
And when you put me in a room of professional people, internally I feel like a child swinging their backpack around with my shoe laces untied. Not quite the ‘successful business woman’ vibe I’d like to exude. Online networking was much easier – firstly I was sitting down and wearing slippers, less opportunity to trip. Secondly, I could curate my background with interesting things that could start conversations. Thirdly, I did not have to remember peoples names.
But in-person networking is back and it’s here to stay. It is not my favourite thing, and yet every time I make the effort it is worth it. I meet interesting, inspiring, funny, lovely people and learn something new. Here are some of things I do (or plan to do) to make it easier and a bit more enjoyable.
- Understand and Accept Your Awkwardness:
First and foremost, acknowledge that feeling awkward is okay. Everyone, at some point in their life, has felt out of place or uncertain in social situations. By accepting this part of yourself, you’ll be less critical and more open to the opportunities that come from networking. There is very likely to be someone standing in a corner, nibbling a biscuit who feels the same – and if you start with them, you’ll be doing yourself and them a favour!
- Don’t go hungry:
Even if there’s food provided, eat before you go. There is nothing worse than holding the same soggy vol-au-vent for the whole event because someone interrupts every time you attempt to put it in your mouth. Or spilling ketchup down your white shirt whilst trying to eat a breakfast networking bacon roll. Or having your stomach rumble loudly and feeling the glass of wine go straight to your head.
- Start Small:
Before diving into a room full of professionals, practice networking in smaller, less intimidating environments. Attend meetups or group activities centred around interests you’re passionate about and have a level of comfort with. This will provide a common ground to start conversations, making the process less stressful.
- Plan Ahead:
One of the best ways to alleviate anxiety is by being prepared. Before attending an event, research the attendees or the topics that might be discussed. But stay on the right side of creepy when researching people – no-one appreciates a LinkedIn stalker. Preparing a few conversation starters or questions can provide a safety net if you’re at a loss for words. This also means you can properly listen to whatever is being shared, rather than having the pressure of coming up with a question distracting your mind.
- Practice your introduction:
I have a terrible habit of picking the wrong words when I’m nervous. I recommend writing a script about how ideally you’d introduce yourself at events like this – a long and short version- and then practice until it trips off your tongue without even thinking about it. Here’s mine:
Hi, I’m Kerry – After 20+ years in Corporate HR I now run my own Consultancy – Freehuman – where our goal is to build better working environments that help people, teams and the planet thrive in a complex world. I specialise in culture change, employee engagement and experience, and team effectiveness and learning – and I’m an amateur behavioural scientist – fascinated with the way people make decisions! I’m here today to (insert reason related to event/topic).
- Practice Active Listening:
Remember, networking isn’t just about talking; it’s about listening. If you’re an awkward person, use this to your advantage. People hugely appreciate a good listener. By focusing on the other person and showing genuine interest in what they have to say, you’ll create a positive impression. If remembering someone’s name is a problem for you, repeat it back to them. I’ve employed the Bridget Jones technique in the past, introducing someone I’ve been talking with to someone else with an interesting fact. I then usually awkwardly say that I’ve Bridget Jonesed them.
- Use Online Platforms:
If face-to-face interactions feel overwhelming, start with online networking. Platforms like LinkedIn, or industry-specific forums provide an opportunity to connect with professionals in a less direct manner. Engaging in discussions, sharing relevant content, or simply commenting can pave the way for deeper connections. Use the chat functionality if you don’t feel confident speaking up straight away – and you have more time to think about how you phrase something.
- Set Realistic Goals:
Instead of pressuring yourself to connect with everyone at an event, set smaller, achievable goals. It might be as simple as initiating a conversation with two new people or collecting a few business cards. Over time, as your confidence grows, you can set more ambitious networking objectives.
- Find a Buddy:
If attending events feels daunting, bring along a friend or colleague. Having a familiar face can ease initial discomfort and provide an anchor. As you become more confident, you’ll find yourself venturing out of your comfort zone and initiating conversations independently. However, don’t stick to your pal like glue! It can be off-putting for other people to approach you if you appear too cliquey.
- Practice Active Body Language:
While verbal communication might be a challenge, non-verbal cues play a significant role in how others perceive us. Maintaining eye contact, offering a firm handshake, and facing the person you’re talking to can all convey confidence, even if you’re feeling the opposite. If you’re planning on shaking hands all evening, be sure to have your hands free! I’ve been in the situation where I’m basically holding everything I own and have to put my phone in my mouth to shake hands. So awkward…
- Remember, It’s a Skill:
Like any skill, networking gets better with practice. The more you put yourself out there, the more comfortable you’ll become. Instead of focusing on moments of awkwardness (you know, the ones that wake you in the middle of the night, ‘Why did I pronounce that word so weirdly / why did I choke on that vol-au-vent?) celebrate small victories. Over time, you’ll find your rhythm and develop your unique networking style.
- Use tech to connect:
Business cards are becoming a thing of the past, but its actually much easier to connect with someone on LinkedIn anyway. This is something you can do before or after an event, or you can impress with your technical prowess in the LinkedIn App by sharing your personal LinkedIn QR code
On the App – Go to Search, Click into the Search box, and on the right hand side you’ll see the QR code symbol, click on that and voila! You can even save this in your photos in advance.
And when the networking event is over and you’re back in your slippers – reflect on what worked for you and what didn’t, count and celebrate the small wins. If you’ve met and connected with just one person you wouldn’t have normally, then that’s a success. And who knows where that relationship might lead.